So we decided to take my mom to the Texas Renaissance Festival the day after Thanksgiving.

That's right. While all you suckerswere waiting in half-frozen lines for the Best Buy Black Friday sale on iPod thingambobs and flibertygadgets, we were hobnobbing with elves and centaurs and guys in kilts. Who's cool now?!?

Mom has never been to anything like Ren Fest before, and I admit to deriving a certain level of entertainment from hearing her country-twanged whispers of "oh my gaaaaawd" whenever some guy dressed as a pirate would invade her personal space to beg her to buy beef jerky. I did bristle a bit when the roasted almond guy encouraged her to put his warm nuts in her mouth. Some things ain't cool, man.

Heh. Ok, sorry, I guess it was pretty funny. I could never stay mad at you!

This was the first time I've been to Ren Fest when it was actually cold outside. I'm used to slowly roasting in my own juices, so crisp and cool breezes were a nice change of pace. Plus, the cold kept the number of chainmail-bikini-clad BBWs to a minimum. Bonus.

Next I'm thinking of taking mom to a Star Trek convention, possibly in costume. I can see her now in Klingon ridges and wielding a bat'leth. "Kapla!"

Yes mom. Kapla. Kapla to everyone.

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Kevin Tumlinson is the author of numerous novels, novellas, and non-fiction books, and the host of the Wordslinger Podcast. Try three of his best books for free when you download his starter library at


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