You know what I've noticed? I don't keep this blog up like I do the Chronicle blog. You know why I think that is? I'm lazy and conceivably drunk most of the time. But mostly lazy.

Brushing past all that ...

Kara and I went to the Renaissance Festival this weekend, in celebration of my birthday. I can't help loving that place. It makes me wish that everyday life was like that. You've got people wandering around wearing chainmail and other barely-there garments with absolutely no regard for whether or not they've "got the body for it," and people are happy and having a good time, oblivious to the staring and gawking around them.

I imagine that's what it feels like to be Paris Hilton.

I think the best part of Ren Fest, though, is the food. Where else can you walk around with a giant turkey leg and not look like a spaz? Try it at Thanksgiving. Cold stares.

Then there are the toys. Most years, I manage to avoid deluding myself into thinking I, too, can master the overly complicated routines and skills required to use such an item. This year, however, I convinced myself that I could, in fact, master the sphere. It's cool, it's awesome, it requires dexterity and coordination, but most of all it requires practice and that, my friends, is where I will fall short.

Ah, Ren Fest ... how you taunt me. But I do enjoy your turkey legs and funnel cakes. And if I occasionally end up with a $40 plastic ball, so be it! It's worth it, just to be among my own kind.

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Kevin Tumlinson is the author of numerous novels, novellas, and non-fiction books, and the host of the Wordslinger Podcast. Try three of his best books for free when you download his starter library at


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